Pink does not spell gay!

The rate at which homosexuality is becoming accepted in our society is somewhat shocking. Seen by many as going against God’s intention as described in the bible, others simply see it as a deviation from the norm. Personally I have my own reservations but I am not ready to influence someone’s decision making; heck I have trouble making my own.

The right or wrong of homosexuality is someone else’s concern, mine is just how confident we are about our own sexuality especially the men. I know people who wouldn’t do anything that they think would bring their sexuality into question, but while some are obvious don’ts others are simply ridiculous. We live in a society that has ‘genderized’ almost everything. From colors to food and drinks, it’s almost as if they come with a ‘for males/females only sign.

So let’s start with color. Some men would be caught dead wearing pink just because it comes out as feminine. While this may be true, you can easily look super good in pink as compared to black blue or other ‘manly’ colors. Putting on a pink shirt will not make you grow a vagina or instantaneously divert your attraction towards fellow men. Go on and try something out of your comfort zone.

Probably the most ridiculous arguments I’ve heard is that about soda. Apparently there are some flavors, i.e. the Fanta range, that are reserved for the fair ones. I once ordered a fanta orange in the company of a lady friend and she said, “Really? That is a feminine drink.” I looked at her gave a sheepish smile and sipped away loudly telling her in my thoughts “Go die!” If I like a certain flavor that doesn’t mean my testosterone levels will fall to zero.

There are some gay people who are manly in every aspect and wouldn’t pass as gay but that does not change the fact that they are. At the end of the day it is what your innate self is tuned to. I’ll wear pink, take fanta orange but all that matters is no guy can give me a boner. If you know you only ogle the ladies why would you question your sexuality? If you are confident that you are straight, why go the extra mile and try make sure that other irrelevant things don’t make you feel otherwise?  

So go ahead and be a nurse, dress in pink, listen to soft music, watch romantic movies. At the end of the day it is who gives you a hard-on that determines whether you are straight or not!

Palcatraz: The Prison That is The Friend zone

It has been exactly one year, one month and eleven days since I wrote my last post. The reason why I stopped? Well that's for me to know and you never to find out. During this sabbatical a lot has happened, things have changed. This will however not be the focus of my first post back so I'll dwell on something else... Palcatraz.

For those who have watched the series Alcatraz might be getting the gist of what I'm driving at. For the rest, Alcatraz was about some prison where the prisoners and prison guards disappeared. Now palcatraz refers to the prison that is the friend zone. Many of us have fallen into this prison pretty much without committing any crime, but this always tends to communicate something deeper.

In the recent past i have been palcatrazed a bit too often and it became a bit too much I had to ask why. The answer... "You are a good listener" WTF!!! I thought being a good listener would add to the bonga points. Clearly not. This got me to thinking of some of the things we guys do and end up in Palcatraz.

1.      Getting too comfortable

This is a deal killer. Every lady wants a guy they can cosy up to and not be worried that he might pull a smooth one on her. DON’T be that guy! If your first intention was to get the girl, focus on just that. Don’t be the one she gets class or work info from, don’t be the guy who reminds her of important appointments she has a reminder and don’t save her a seat. All these actions spell out ‘he’s the guy who’s got my back.’ We both know it’s not her back you’re interested in.

2.      Being a good listener

From personal experience, this gets you into palcatraz faster than Hudda’s BBA eviction. Ladies like to have someone listening to their problems and siding with their opinion. Sadly, they don’t want this guy being their boyfriend, FWB, clande etc. In simple terms, their listening partner has little chances of being their nyege-mate. Don’t get me wrong, it’s good to listen but best to just hear and leave it at that.

3.      Being the adviser

Guys don’t offer your advice to your potential catch especially as concerns another guy or previous relationships, she has girlfriends for that, unless you want to join clique. The girl will always run to you for advice but will fail to even notice you, so feel free to act all Solomon and share your wisdom at your own peril.

4.      Allowing her to change in front of you

Guys, if she’s taking off her clothes in front of you it had better be because she’s about to ride you like a bull. Otherwise, don’t be just a spectator with some comments like, “wow, nice bumper” then just sit your ass there. Go ahead and pull up to that bumper!!!

If these four don’t land you in the friend zone then maybe you are just another nigger she would rather die than have your boneless boner bone her. (See what I did there?). On a lighter note, it’s also good for you to have a girl who’s just a friend. If she’s good she could actually help you score.

I have however always wondered if ladies ever get friend zoned. If there is a guy out there who has a girl in palcatraz please stand up. And as you do, we already know it’s either because you are having a malfunction or she looks like you.

My view opinion of the friend zone: It's B.S!

Random Musings

I am believer in speaking my mind and I think that being angry at someone must be tiresome. Well for me it is, but for some I guess they just take an energy drink to keep going. I would hardly care if you were angry at me especially if i had no idea what I did to get you so worked up. As I posted on Zuckerberg's invention, "I do not mind you being angry or pissed at me not knowing the reason. At least I know you are adding a wrinkle every time you see me and I just smile :)" this though intentional serves to enlighten. Why be angry while you can win the psychological battle? Give them something to think about on top of being angry, then watch the emotional metamorphosis.

Before I give the implication that this post is all about you, you and maybe you.. (not today), I came across a You Tube video on 'The 6 girls you'll date in college' click here to watch. Now to put it in  my own words:

Girl No. 1: The one who likes to party
A believer that YOLO means drink, get high and star in an all new 'The hangover' every weekend. While this is a wanted companion at every party, when consultations are made with your wallet she is a straight reject

2: The one who goes to church
Don't live a lie brother! If you identify with this generation it wouldn't need to be a genius to know this is as good a disguise of character as any other. Long as you can wake up for Sunday mass but can push the right buttons the rest of the week , you are set.

3: The Att carrier
An attitude is good to have just depends which one you carry around. I am talking about one who carries an expression of disfavour. This one is probably a hot-head. Do something slightly wrong and you'll be sitting on TNT. If you can keep your head when she's losing hers then you are spared to having just one clown between you two.

4: The hot one
This one you'll show to all your friends as your recently acquired gem. but highly doubt how much of a keeper she is.

5: The friend
Well this rings a bell. You hang out, have lots of fun together and love their company. In the process you just get to used  to her and you share a bed all alone in the house and not even wake up with a boner.

6: The perfect one
Smart, intelligent and outstanding character. Good looks and boobs+ass to match. Gives you a thrill when you see her every time. You find her and you know you've struck a gold-mine.

....Just some thoughts....

It is said that you are not fully open with a girl till either of you farts in the other's presence. <theory by one darwin attila> and so with this in mind I took to enforcing my friendship with one fair lady I will only refer to as T.C.(encrypted meaning) by letting one as loud as a faulty engine, need I mention the aroma? No? Oh the smell of true friendship.

Watch these:

 

Your girlfriends six friends

why girl's don't fart

Preaching Wine

Man was molded with emotion, and out of this comes the woman. This keeps us sane, at least in how we relate to each other. But too much of anything is chang’aa brewed with rats and pads with month. Emotion just like chang’aa blinds us at times, clouds judgment and leaves you wondering what you were doing.

Thanks to the Philippine and Latino invasion on our idiot boxes, the demand for a fantasy world by the fair ones is at an all time high. Ladies, and some men alike, get drowned in a world they want to be real. The unfortunate thing being most of us not being able to match the romance depicted- in an act- hence being termed unromantic.

This is what I think of love; Lost Opportunities Via Emotions. Opportunities being the many fish at sea. As a youthful individual, I am a laggard when it comes to relationships, and my maybe arrogant stance is because of the following:

1)      Most relationships are not bound to be lifelong and this is certain to both individuals hence it is just a form of passing time. Call it recreational if you may.

2)      The probability of a total overhaul of your social life is a certain 100 %.( unless she becomes one of the guys only with an intrusion where you have a extrusion).

3)      Midlife crisis! If you don’t have as much random, explicit, crazy fun now you’ll definitely be seeking it at fifty. My policy, that which you can legally do at twenty don’t procrastinate it till you are fifty.

4)      If cupid asks me what I did in my heydays, I’d want to correct him “you mean what and who I did” and hand him a memory chip and say “its all here”

So for now I’ll go drink with the boys, dance with any girl, get caught in compromising positions and gladly say “if you don’t want to join in, do close the door behind you.”

But this is just me. I am not tramping early relationships. Young love, I see it I respect it. But a crying shoulder when it crumbles I won’t give.

What are the chances that all I’ve said is just gibberish? High indeed. I am not discrediting myself; I just may be mistaken on love. Long-lasting Orgasms Via Emotion maybe? Sounds tempting, but that’s just my emotionally vulnerable side.

If ever I fall in my own criticism of what I have preached, then that’s a ride I will all too willingly take in a Dmax and pick her up where April left us. Only she can decipher this but just to hint, childhood crushes have a way of sticking around.

September Fortunes

Oh September, how much more can I thank thee. You finally brought life back to the swimming pool. To me that is not the joy of getting to show my half naked body, and ab <not abs> but it is the pleasure that another hunting ground has been made available. Swimming brings a lot of truth. You’d get to know if that girl’s ass and boobs are all natural or just padded, see how she looks without make-up, and yes chances are she is as smooth and flexible in other quotas as she is in the pool. And that girl can say she’s wet and not get you ideas…or not.

So as my eyes savor the feast of different shapes, sizes, complexions that are gloriously flattering the pool, it is a perfect 3-Bs; Boobs, Booty, Beauty. That to me concocts the almost perfect lady, Brains being the finishing touch. Sadly the three assets are being ‘creatively’ used to pick out 6ft wallet-tall men. A situation leaving we youthful lads singing a mournful dirge as we watch money stacks outdoing our sleek vibe. Not at all generalizing, there are a few hapa pale still with priceless booty, literally speaking. They can’t be bought. <Big up Mama Wambui on that>

All this flashing goodies at well pocket-endowed men got me thinking. If I can’t have them when I’m this much of a hustler that means only one thing; speculating that the trend continues and having about 4 years, give or take, till I can make concrete mullah, then the lass I’ll be picking up is in form one!! WTF! The thought is just wrong. But hey, age is just a number, provided si under 18. If you love him for his money, you might as well list your goodies in the securities exchange market.

I am mot at all ignoring the fact that lads would give a shag for mullah too. And that is just despicable! But let’s face it; it’s your own personal pair of nuts. If it earns you a living feel free, who said you can’t live with a virus or two?!

Beauty in the sun…

As I attempt to pen my next trail of thought, something blocks the sun. I look up and a bottle of sunscreen is held out to me. Perfectly manicured nails, cute face, nice body. All wet. “I saw you staring earlier so thought I could make use of the attention. Would you rub this on?” in a flash thought, am thinking for such confidence she must be nuts, but I do have a pair so what the hell. “Certainly, with pleasure, do lie down.” Now, now Karis, don’t get any ideas… yet!