August has been full of lessons. ladies were made emotional. Not that it's a bad thing but when she tells you she doesn't do relationships she is lying. the need to be loved, recognized and appreciated is one that has got to be satisfied in every lady. but still, women cheat as much as men, only they are way more subtle and tricky about it, and don't get caught nearly so often.
I am a fun of Chris Hart's Sunday column on The Sunday Nation 'relationships'. On reasons why women cheat he points out to emotional reasons saying, 'Like she's in a brand new relationship and really likes the guy but he's not quite ready to be exclusive? really bad strategy because while you are wasting her time she'll wander'
That's just a random mention; back to business:
August has been quite a handful. Events that have shaped character, established bonds, broken others. August, notorious for tragic happenings,-R.I.P Shikuku- brought with it some good times.
Pete <tight pal> finally got to board a plane. Yes, he was happy, only add a little girl's excitement over an ice cream cone and of course a scream or two. Don't get me wrong. All this was justified, his destination M.I.T ('M' for Massachusetts not Machakos). What? Think I don't have any smart ass pals? Well... Bazinga!!! Don't ask about me. It's bad omen to blow my own horn but to mention but a few titles; His Excellency U.M.(Ule Msee), B.K. (Baba Karis), S.V.K. (Senior Virgin of Kahawa). For Pete, I wish him all the best. Karis and the nuts demand that you represent them kabisa.. "Go forth and conquer the white tunnels" Their words, or as one M'soh would put it "Ongeza mileage"
So I finally got to hold a gun, in a game of paintball. (gun filled with tiny balls of paint as bullets). I must say it was a colourful experience- pun intended. The Kahawa entourage chose to settle scores in a paint massacre. Those shots, I mean bullets, are forking painful. And thanks to the matrix, I learnt a thing or two on dodging bullets but still ended up with several painful blood clots all over my body. Alex you are officially my paintball enemy!
P.S. Girls intending to play this game, big boobs and thutha make you an easy target. Pad them up if you don't want extra nipples.
With respect to this, I never thought that I'd turn down a caressing. Thanks to the swellings and clots all over, Mama Wambui's touch has never been so painful. So one thing's for sure, paintball is only for those not getting any for a month.
August 21st, am I glad to finally take the "teen" off my age. Feels like I just experienced reincarnation. My teen life was a fine 7 years. No regrets, just fine and foul memories, but no regrets. That first kiss-no regrets, first time tipsy-no regrets, first sight of a tunnel-definitely no regrets. and that time caught pants down-literally- no regrets. (glad it happened on my last 'teen', not when am officially Mama Wambui's very own).
So having been woken up at 1230hrs by the ever crazy nyanis, Attilah, Zet and Skagen, soaked in bucket loads of cold water (Karis did not enjoy that) and tattooed all over with polish,nilingara kuliko fiatu fya Rudisha, I salute my teenage self. I light the candle pitched on one of a kind thafai cake (if you don't know what this is you probably don't take it, and that's good), take my last shot of Gilbeys and blow. My wish...a perfect Mama Wambui. And Zucci whispers "If wishes were nuts, everyone would grow a pair!!" Really dude?
